We Gotta Stop Doin’ That

The place in our hearts where racism starts.

Years ago I went to Africa for a photo safari. Part of that vacation was a trip on the world renown Rovos Train, from Victoria Falls to Johannesburg. The train stopped briefly at a town called Mafikeng, so, curious tourist that I was, I got off and walked the short distance to the town center. I didn’t have time to see the sights, so I just stood there for a few minutes, watching the comings and goings of the very busy town. Here’s the thing…I was uncomfortable. Not scared, but definitely nervous…ill at ease.

I walked back to the train, sat alone in the lounge car, and wondered…why was I nervous? I think of myself as having little or no racial bias, so, when I was the only white person in sight, among many hundreds of blacks, why was I bothered? 

Many would say that my discomfort was proof of racism. Maybe unconscious on my part, but definitely racism. In today’s world, we’ve all been conditioned to think that way…if we’re nervous or uncomfortable and blacks are in any way part of the scene, it’s proof of racism. I think that’s often—not always, but often—wrong-headed thinking. And that’s why I’m writing this column…to try to put a bit of balance into today’s racial dialogue.

Often racism truly is the source of the discomfort. But just as often it’s not. A lot of what gets labeled racism isn’t racism at all, but something more basic…something bred into us by our evolution…something as simple as unfamiliarity and uncertainty. 

At Mafikeng, I was out of my element, among strangers, in a strange culture, and hearing nothing but a strange language. Yes, every human being in sight was black, but that wasn’t the source of my unease. I know that because I had felt exactly the same discomfort years earlier, in the city of Munich, Germany, surrounded that time by Caucasians, but again, out of my element, among strangers, in a strange culture, and hearing nothing but a strange language. Was I racist against Caucasians because I felt uncomfortable? Of course not. It was the strangeness of the situation, not the color of the people that made me nervous. It was only because of the conditioning of our modern culture and all of the racist debate these days that I even thought about racism after my brief sojourn into Mafikeng.

My study of mind science has convinced me that racism is a learned attitude, and that it’s triggered by a more basic, inborn habit of mind, which is probably genetically programmed into us. This “other-phobia” is the fear, distrust, or prejudice that arises when we’re in situations and among people who are significantly different from what we’re accustomed to. It’s a natural aspect of our evolution as human beings. 

Way back when, when human beings lived in a primitive, tribal world, people who were different from us, or strange in some way could be life threatening. Our brains developed to deal with this threat by reacting, unconsciously, to “different” or “strange” with suspicion or animosity. 

Evolution programmed us to be other-phobic, but in today’s world we seem to deal with it in two ways…one leads to racism, the other doesn’t.

Some of us overcome our natural other-phobia. We learn to react to our innate fears or aggressions, not with a fight or flight response, but with curiosity. We learn to put our anxieties aside and use other parts of our brains, the parts that want to understand people and situations, rather than react instinctively. We still have our other-phobia, but we learn to deal with it.

Others of us reinforce our other-phobia. We focus it on one or another group that’s different from us (like blacks, gays, Jews, rich folks, the homeless, etc.). The culture that surrounds us probably also reinforces that particular other-phobia, and makes it seem normal and right. Then the Confirmation Bias sets in. Confirmation Bias is an entirely natural human tendency to see the world in ways that agree with and support our beliefs. When our other-phobia causes us to feel fear or aggression toward, say, blacks, our Confirmation Bias causes us to see the events of the world as proof that blacks are “bad,” and, of course we and people like us are “good.” And off we go…racist to the core, with racism—or homophobia, or misogyny, or xenophobia, or whatever-phobia—as one of the central beliefs of our lives. 

And here’s an important truth: racism and all the other cultural phobias cut both ways. 

Racism is nothing more than a specific case of other-phobia, the case in which skin color is the difference that triggers the phobia. Blacks are every bit as other-phobic, and can be every bit as racist as whites. So can Hispanics, or gays, or Republicans and Democrats, or teenagers and adults, or brown-eyed kids and blue-eyed kids…or any other group that sees a difference between itself and other groups. We see “different” and, unless we learn otherwise, “different” means bad and “same” means good. 

We gotta stop doin’ that!

For what it’s worth, here’s a suggestion. The next time you encounter a person who’s different from you—white, black, or any kind of “other”—check in with yourself to see if you’re experiencing even a tiny bit of discomfort or some small negative vibe. If you don’t, it’s probably because, over your lifetime, you’ve learned to deal effectively with your other-phobia. Good for you. 

But if you have even a very small feeling of strangeness about the other person, that’ll be your unconscious mind reacting to your other-phobia. In the moment, while it’s happening, try to remind yourself not to give in to whatever uncertainty or discomfort you may feel. Instead of assuming the worst, or the best, assume nothing. Make sure you pay attention to the individual, the person, not the feeling of “otherness.” Make the conscious effort to deal with the person as he actually is, and not as your unconscious mind’s other-phobia wants you to. That way, whether you like or dislike him, your reactions will be based on something real, not something imagined…not your innate other-phobia…and certainly not something racist.